Well, it's been a while since my last real post, so even though I really don't have much to say, I thought I'd give it a shot. So, ::cracks knuckles:: here I go... It's been a really busy couple of weeks, I guess you all pretty much knew, becuase I don't think that anyone reads this who I don't know. But, on the off chance that an unknown spectator should happen upon my journal, now they'll know too.
I feel like so far this summer has been one big pile of clarity for me. It's like I needed to see all of this stuff that I didn't see before in my life and with people I associated myself with, before I could move to the next phase in my life. It's weird when everything happens all at once. It's sort of like the last five minutes of a Scooby Doo episode when the masks come off, and suddenly every question from the show gets answered. The entire show is building up for those last five minutes of clarity. Now I'm not writing my death note or anything, I'm just saying that that's how my life feels right now. Like I've reached the last five minutes of this episode, metaphorically speaking, of course. Now, it was a good episode, don't get me wrong: there were laughs, there were tears, and a couple of amazing musical numbers, but now I'm ready for a new one (episode, that is, but I could go for a few more musical numbers as well).
What else is weird is that I kept thinking that I was ready to move on before, but then something else happens when I think "Oh, I get it now" and I realize that I wasn't ready to move on at all. I don't know if that makes any sense. It's just that I keep realizing how little I know, and it's always astonishing. So, maybe I'm not ready for the next episode. Maybe I'm still living in the last five minutes. Or maybe this is the dramatic twist in the middle of the story when you think you know everything but really everything you think is wrong. Who knows? Not I, that's for sure. That's the only thing I know, actually: that I know nothing.
The surprising thing is, is that even though there's all this uncertainty surrounding me, I'm surprisingly calm. In fact, I don't know that I've ever been this calm in my entire life. I have truly learned that I am not at the healm of the ship that is my life. Every once in a while, I can offer up directions, but I am not the one steering. Lol, this post is full of metaphors. Why? I, again, don't know. In fact I'm not even thinking about what I'm typing. I'm simply typing and letting whatever it is that I'm thinking come out. It's sort of weird. I couldn't tell you what I said in the first paragraph, except for somthing about cracking my knuckles, because I put that in double colons and I thought that looked cool. Yup, just looked. It's there. And the double colons do look cool. Where was I?
Oh, I've decided to go to Long Beach. They sent me something in the mail saying that they accept me now (Once again, I thought I was sure about something when I really had no idea what was going to happen) In fact, the only thing that I'm ceratin about is that there is nothing to be certain about. People included. I have had people who I thought would never intentionally hurt me lie straight to my face, and I have had people come through for me in times when I thought no one would. People are funny things. I don't know where that came from.
I'm listening to the Damn Yankees cd right now. Excluding myself (I hate the way I sound... maybe I should pick another hobby... lol) everyone is really really really good. I'm so impressed with all of you, you have no idea. It was such an emotionally charged show, and I was really proud of everyone in the end. You all have heart (wow, that was lame. I mean, it was lame in my head, but written out that scores a 10 on the lame-o-meter... lol, the invention of "lame-o-meter" didn't help the situation either... I think I'm going to stop this now before it gets any worse).
Today I watched Starsky and Hutch with Allison and Robert, and then Romel came over and we watched Kill Bill. Finally I have seen it, and I have to say that even though I wasn't really attentive the entire time, it was really good. I was impressed that I thought it was as good as I did even after all the hype. I'll have to see it again (and now I guess I need to see the sequel so that I can actually know what happens) to see if it beats Pulp Fiction, but wither way, it was genius. Lol... the juxtaposition of Starsky and Hutch and Kill Bill was a little odd, but hey, it worked. I'm not sure why, but they were nice contrasts.
Well, I guess I should go, I have work tomorrow, and Lord knows, I wouldn't want to miss that... Me? Want to miss work? NEVER. Oh well, I guess it's building character or something useful like that... lol, I think I'm the only person who complains about getting something they totally signed up for. In all honesty, work isn't that bad, I think I just like complaining. I'm like one big pile o' fun, aren't I? Well, in any case, I think it's about that time that I say "adieu to you and you and you-oo". Goodnight, all.
*Christine
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